“I wanted attention”
Leo Alkemade, 44, has spoken candidly about the challenges he faced during his school years in Tilburg, admitting he often felt anxious before going to school. “I wasn’t really bullied, but I just didn’t fit in. Some days I was popular, others I wasn’t,” he said. His desire for attention and penchant for sharp wit frequently led to tense situations.
“I wanted the attention, I had a big mouth, and I made jokes that sometimes hit a nerve. I occasionally got a few slaps for that,” Alkemade explained. The atmosphere was sometimes so fraught that he altered his routine during breaks. “I remember sometimes walking under the viaduct along the canal during recess, hoping those boys weren’t there,” he recalled. Even cycling home didn’t always feel safe.
Looking back, Alkemade recognizes that humor served as a coping mechanism. “It was a kind of shield,” he conceded. He constantly navigated between two worlds: academic performance and social acceptance. “I was constantly balancing between two worlds, it was very complicated.” This experience highlights the often-overlooked emotional challenges faced by individuals even as they pursue professional success.
Alkemade continues to assert himself in group settings, even today. “It’s not that I’m afraid people won’t like me, that doesn’t really interest me,” he stated. He acknowledges that his humor won’t resonate with everyone. “I uncover it harder to show vulnerability in a group than when I’m one-on-one with someone.”
He also credits his parents with providing consistent support throughout his schooling. “Whenever I got suspended, my father would already be at school to express his displeasure. I was often sent out of class for being too disruptive. Fidgeting, that sort of thing.”