Model Sima Jakulevičiūtė revealed in an interview on Artur Lebedenko’s podcast, “Tapk Geresniu,” that she immediately recognized a man she became involved with as someone she should avoid, but she continued a relationship with him due to youthful naiveté.
“From the very first moments with him, I recognized that he was a dishonest person and that I needed to protect myself. But I was very naive and a very solid person. He approached me with a victim mentality, and I just felt very sorry for him. For six months, I continued to interact with him out of pity. No one loves him, everyone hurts him, he has nothing, and then he would notify me, ‘No, I don’t aim for you.’ I couldn’t, I didn’t know how to set boundaries,” Jakulevičiūtė shared on “Tapk Geresniu.”
During the relationship, the model found herself spiraling into addiction. “On the ‘Tapk Geresniu’ podcast, Sima explained that she was going through a particularly difficult period at the time, and drugs allowed her to briefly experience joy and happiness after a long period of depression.
“After six months, I just gave in to him for drugs. He often offered them to me, but I always refused. But one evening, I took cocaine, and at that time, I was in a very, very deep depression, I had experienced many things – the loss of my closest person, my parents’ illnesses, divorce, bankruptcy… Many things. I was very unhappy, and cocaine hooked me very strongly. If you give cocaine to a happy person, their dopamine level will jump up, but mine jumped from the bottom to the top, and that feeling of joy and happiness was incredibly good, and it felt good to sense that way after a long time of depression. And that’s it.”
“The next morning, I woke up and realized that my life would never be the same. I knew it wasn’t today, but everything, I’m going down. I gave myself to that man for drugs, and I had never tried anything in my life. I had a strict upbringing, I had the right values, I wanted a family, I was looking for a husband out of love… We used drugs, and I slept with him, not being myself,” she shared candidly.
Asmeninė nuotr./Modelis Sima Jakulevičiūtė
Under the influence of drugs, the situation seemed simpler to the model, but the next morning she had to experience everything with different eyes.
“Everything seemed beautiful and normal. It was my own choice, although there was a lot of talking. The feeling in the morning was like a duel that drove me crazy. When I woke up in the morning, I couldn’t think about anything but cocaine. It seemed like everything, I won’t let you out of my life. Then I realized what addiction is,” she said.
As the relationship continued, physical violence emerged, and during their first trip together, she experienced both sexual assault and a violent outburst.
“Over time, that person became bolder and started shaking me, pushing me, calling me names, yelling at me, humiliating me. We flew on our first trip – to Africa. That’s when it was the first time I said I didn’t want it and don’t touch me, the first time I said I didn’t like it. Then I was hit in the head six times until I passed out, and the person still took what he wanted,” the model recounted on Artur Lebedenko’s podcast.
Asmeninė nuotr./Modelis Sima Jakulevičiūtė
Maintaining a positive outlook helped the model survive the ordeal and avoid giving up.
“I am in Africa, I have no way to escape, I have nothing to do, I don’t want to talk about it to anyone, and I just created visions about the future that everything would be okay and swallowed everything, even without thinking about it,” the model said.
When asked about her emotions upon waking up and seeing her body covered in bruises, she said that even though it was painful, the drugs suppressed her grief.
“I woke up, saw myself, started crying inhumanly, but within half an hour I pulled myself together and that was it. Evening came, we used again, and when I took it, it didn’t bother me,” S.Jakulevičiūtė said.
Asmeninė nuotr./Modelis Sima Jakulevičiūtė
Thoughts of quitting drugs came to her often, but as soon as she mentioned it to her then-partner, everything would repeat itself.
“There were moments when it seemed like I would try not to use it, but I was stupid and told him that I didn’t want to do it anymore and would try to quit, so we had such a conversation that I was even afraid to show him that I wouldn’t use it anymore, as, as they say, whether you want it or not, there is a word – you have to,” she said.
When asked if physical violence was often used against her, she said that she experienced psychological violence almost every day.
“I can’t say constantly, but he has raised his hand more than once. Psychological violence was every day – threats, manipulation, humiliation. He drove me crazy when I saw him treating other people or me badly, I tried to explain that it shouldn’t be done, and I was laughed at or he didn’t understand what I wanted to say,” the woman shared in a shocking account.
No one knew about Simonas’ experiences or what she was going through. When asked why she didn’t try to seek help or at least tell someone what she was experiencing, she admitted that she was silenced by fear, shame, and an internal struggle.
“No one saw, no one knew. I was afraid of him. I was ashamed. I hated myself so much for those 4-5 months, because I knew and still know what I want from life and I didn’t want that. It took me a little time to admit that now I need to make very difficult and terrible decisions to change everything, because I am simply losing myself,” she explained on the podcast.
Asmeninio albumo, LNK nuotr./Sima Jakulevičiūtė
“Tapk Geresniu” host asked Sima if she would seek help today if she faced a similar life challenge. The girl admitted that it is not easy to answer, but emphasized her desire to inspire other women – to break free sooner or later, it is always possible.
“It’s a little hard for me to answer that, because I love myself so much as I am now. I probably never liked myself in my life as much as I do now. I think I would have called and asked for help, why I’m talking about it publicly now is because I want to show women that there is always an escape plan,” she explained.
In Sima’s case, she dared to seek help from a specialist and was able to escape from the abuser.
“I ran away with the help of my therapist, she told me how to do it, what to say. Then I broke up with that person, I ran away from such, I would say, a dangerous person. I said ‘no’ to addiction, I had to return to my parents, live without money, without a job, without any foundation under my feet. It was hard to do. But I went home and said to him: ‘What you did yesterday was not you, I see you, I know what kind of person you are. You abandon from tomorrow morning to evening, I will make a holiday for us and we will start everything from the beginning.’ He left, I called my aunt, she brought me boxes, I quickly packed my things, she took them away, and I stayed. He came home. And just threatened a little, but I ran as fast as I could so he wouldn’t catch me and he didn’t,” Sima shared openly on the “Tapk Geresniu” podcast about how she managed to break free.
Watch the full podcast with Sima Jakulevičiūtė here:
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