Nearly 17% of families with children in Switzerland are now headed by a single parent-a figure that has tripled since the 1970s-reflecting a meaningful shift in societal structures. This trend, while increasingly common, presents unique hurdles for parents balancing work, childcare, and financial stability, often compounded by feelings of isolation. This report profiles two Swiss parents, Zeina and Jérôme, offering intimate perspectives on the joys and challenges of single parenthood, and the evolving definition of family in the 21st century.
Single-parent households now account for nearly 17% of families with children in Switzerland, a figure that has tripled since the 1970s and continues to rise. The growing trend reflects evolving societal norms and presents unique challenges for parents navigating work, family life, and financial stability.
The majority of single-parent families are headed by mothers, with single fathers remaining significantly fewer in number. Balancing professional and personal responsibilities is a daily struggle for these parents, often leading to economic hardship and taking a toll on their mental health due to exhaustion and isolation.
For Zeina, 49, becoming a mother was a lifelong dream. Returning to Switzerland after years as a university teacher in the United States, she grew up in a traditional family – her parents have been married for 56 years, and divorce was rare in her family circle. “I always dreamed of being a mother, but never of being alone,” she confides.
After several relationships didn’t work out, she made a decisive choice: to have a child on her own through medically assisted procreation. The process took six years and proved emotionally demanding. “What people don’t always realize with assisted reproductive technology is that even if an embryo is inserted, it’s the body that decides. That’s the beauty and the magic of pregnancy.”
With my son, we call the donor: the man who gave the seed.
A Chosen Motherhood After Six Years of Effort
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Having lived in Boston, where assisted reproductive technology is accessible to single women – unlike Switzerland, where it remains prohibited – Zeina benefited from psychological support throughout her journey. At the time, she had to grieve the loss of the traditional family model and accept a new way of building a family.
Fate intervened. Eight and a half months pregnant, she had to return to Switzerland urgently in March 2020, at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. “A neighbor came to knock on my door at 9 p.m. to tell me to leave, that I was going to give birth alone and that the borders were going to close,” she recounts. Luca was ultimately born in Switzerland, at his grandparents’ home.
Zeina subsequently experienced significant postpartum depression, a result of a hormonal drop after six years of treatment, as well as a loss of professional identity and isolation due to COVID-19.
I didn’t want a child. I was afraid of repeating the family patterns I knew, the absence of a father.
An Unwanted Fatherhood That Became a Commitment
Jérôme’s story is quite different. At 43, he is raising his six-year-old son, Toma, on his own. “I didn’t want a child. I was afraid of repeating the family patterns I knew, the absence of a father,” he explains.
He met Toma’s mother, who is from Laos, during a trip at a time in his life when he felt “a little lost” and needed to recharge. The child was unplanned. Seeing his son’s living conditions in Laos, he decided to do everything he could to bring him and his mother to Switzerland. Six months after their arrival, the mother returned home, leaving Jérôme to raise Toma alone.
“When he was born, I made him a promise: to give him the best life I could offer,” Jérôme says. It wasn’t love at first sight, but a strong commitment that grew over time.
Daily Challenges and a Heavy Mental Load
The daily life of a single parent is demanding. Jérôme remembers those first six months: “He was crying, I wasn’t sleeping, I had to work on the side. My daily routine was shattered.” A Montessori-oriented daycare center proved to be a turning point, allowing Toma to develop and Jérôme to build his paternal love.
Zeina chose to move back in with her parents, a situation she says “saved” her. “My mother took over during my depression. Without her, I don’t know how I would have managed.” This family support allows her to work full-time while raising Luca.
The Importance of Origins
For Zeina, the question of origins is paramount. She chose a donor with “open identity,” which will allow Luca, at age 18, to meet him if he wishes. “It’s a decision I made for him, thinking it would be better for him, even if it’s stressful for me,” she explains.
She regularly talks to Luca about his donor, whom she calls “the man who gave the seed.” In his room, a poster of Van Gogh’s “The Starry Night” commemorates the young man’s favorite painting from California.
Rebuilding a Support Network
Faced with isolation and the challenges of daily life, both parents have created new connections. Jérôme found a “heart grandmother” for Toma, a neighbor in her seventies. Toma regularly spends time with her. Jérôme also participated in two camps for single fathers organized by Pro Juventute: “It was my light at the end of the tunnel. For the first time in six months, I was able to breathe and sleep soundly.” Zeina co-founded the association “Maman Solo” in French-speaking Switzerland, which now has over 200 members.
Different Families, But Equally Valid
“There are many types of families, and it seems obvious to say, but it’s not at all ingrained in Swiss society,” Zeina observes. Both parents emphasize that their family model is not the one they had imagined, but it works and now brings them true happiness. The increasing prevalence of single-parent families underscores the need for greater societal acceptance and support systems.
Luigi Marra / RTS
