Amidst evolving societal views on relationships, the Vatican has reaffirmed its conventional understanding of marriage. A new document from the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, titled “Una caro (one flesh). Praise of Monogamy,” offers a robust defense of marriage as an exclusive union between two individuals, approved by Pope León XIV on November 21 and released to the press today, november 25. the publication addresses contemporary discussions surrounding polygamy and polyamory, providing clarity on the Church’s long-held beliefs about the nature of marital love and commitment.
The Vatican’s Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith has released a new document reaffirming the Catholic Church’s view of marriage as a lifelong, exclusive union. The publication of “Una caro (one flesh). Praise of Monogamy” comes as societal norms around relationships evolve, and as the Church addresses differing views on marriage across the globe. The document serves as a reaffirmation of traditional teachings amidst increasing discussions surrounding polygamy and “polyamory” – the practice of openly having multiple romantic relationships.
The doctrinal note, approved by Pope León XIV on November 21 and presented to the press on November 25, defines marriage as “an exclusive union and reciprocal belonging.” It emphasizes that a complete and total gift of self can only be offered to another by two individuals, arguing that any division of that gift diminishes the dignity of the relationship.
Motivations Behind the Document
Table of Contents
- Motivations Behind the Document
- Marriage as a Reflection of Christ and the Church
- Consent and Mutual Belonging
- Protecting Individual Freedom Within Marriage
- Marriage is Not Ownership
- The Role of Prayer
- Sexuality and Procreation
- Addressing Modern Challenges
- Charity and Social Responsibility
- A Promise of Eternity
- Historical and Theological Foundations
Cardinal Víctor Manuel Fernández, prefect of the Dicastery, explained in the document’s introduction that the note was prompted by several factors. These include the increasing influence of technology, which can foster a sense of limitlessness, and discussions with African bishops regarding the practice of polygamy. Fernández noted that research into African cultures challenges the assumption that monogamy is not widely practiced there. The rise of non-monogamous relationships in Western countries, often referred to as “polyamory,” also contributed to the need for clarification.
Marriage as a Reflection of Christ and the Church
The document stresses the beauty of the marital bond, describing it – with the help of grace – as a reflection of the union between Christ and the Church. While primarily intended for bishops, the note is also aimed at young people, engaged couples, and married individuals, encouraging them to understand “the richness” of Christian marriage and to engage in “serene reflection and prolonged deepening” on the subject.
Consent and Mutual Belonging
The document, divided into seven chapters plus a conclusion, asserts that monogamy isn’t a restriction, but rather enables a love that extends toward eternity. Two key elements are highlighted: reciprocal belonging and conjugal charity. Reciprocal belonging, rooted in the free consent of both spouses, mirrors the Holy Trinity and provides “a strong motivation for the stability of the union.” It’s described as a “belonging of the heart, where only God sees,” a space where freedom and individual identity are preserved.
Protecting Individual Freedom Within Marriage
The note cautions against violating the freedom of one’s spouse, emphasizing that mutual love requires “delicate care” and a “holy fear of profaning the other’s liberty,” which is equal in dignity and rights. True love, the document argues, doesn’t seek to use another person to fill personal voids or exert control. It condemns “many forms of unhealthy desire that lead to various manifestations of explicit or subtle violence, oppression, psychological pressure, control, and ultimately, suffocation,” characterizing these as a “lack of respect and reverence for the other’s dignity.”
Marriage is Not Ownership
A healthy “we” within a marriage, the document states, involves “the reciprocity of two freedoms that are never violated, but mutually chosen, always safeguarding a limit that cannot be exceeded.” This occurs when “a person does not lose themselves in the relationship, does not merge with the loved one,” respecting the core principle of healthy love, which never seeks to absorb the other. The note acknowledges the importance of respecting a spouse’s need for reflection, solitude, or autonomy, affirming that “marriage is not possession,” nor does it guarantee “absolute tranquility” or a complete escape from loneliness – a void only God can fill. It also warns against excessive distance, which can threaten the union.
The Role of Prayer
Reciprocal belonging is also nurtured through mutual support in personal growth, and prayer is presented as “a valuable means” for couples to sanctify themselves and deepen their love. This fosters conjugal charity, described as a “unitive power,” a “divine gift” requested in prayer and nourished through the sacraments, ultimately becoming “the greatest friendship” between two hearts that feel “at home” with one another.
Sexuality and Procreation
The document explains that through the transformative power of charity, sexuality can be understood “in body and soul” – not as a mere impulse, but as “a wonderful gift from God” that leads to self-giving and the well-being of the other. Conjugal charity also extends to procreation, “although this does not mean that it must be the explicit purpose of every sexual act.” Marriage retains its essential character even without children, and the note affirms the legitimacy of respecting natural periods of infertility.
Addressing Modern Challenges
However, the document acknowledges the challenges posed by “the context of postmodern consumer individualism,” which denies the unifying purpose of sexuality and marriage. It calls for a renewed focus on education, stating, “The universe of social networks, where modesty vanishes and symbolic and sexual violence proliferate, shows the urgency of a new pedagogy.” The Church must prepare future generations to embrace love as a profound mystery, not simply a physical drive, but as a call to responsibility and “a capacity for hope for the whole person.”
The charitable nature of the marital union extends to couples who avoid self-absorption and embrace shared projects to “do something beautiful for the community and the world,” recognizing that “man realizes himself by relating to others and to God.” Conversely, selfishness and inward focus must be countered through a commitment to the common good, with particular attention given to the poor, who, as Pope León XIV stated, are a “family matter” for Christians, not merely a “social problem.”
A Promise of Eternity
In conclusion, the note reiterates that “every authentic marriage is a unity composed of two individuals, which requires a relationship so intimate and totalizing that it cannot be shared with others.” Therefore, the two essential properties of the marital bond – unity and indissolubility – are inextricably linked. Only then can conjugal love be a dynamic reality, called to continuous growth and development, representing “a promise of infinity.”
Historical and Theological Foundations
The document also provides a comprehensive overview of the history of monogamy, tracing its roots from the Book of Genesis through the Church Fathers and papal teachings, to the philosophers and poets of the 20th century. This exploration delves into the sense of belonging felt in a committed “we” because, as Saint Augustine said, “give me a heart that loves and it will feel what I say.”
