facing ongoing physical and emotional abuse since childhood, Astrid’s story sheds light on the hidden toll of domestic violence. Her account reveals the deep impact of a violent family surroundings and the extreme measures she contemplated to escape it, highlighting the importance of awareness, intervention, and support for survivors.
“I thought: today or tomorrow I’ll just kill you”
Astrid reflects on a childhood marked by consistent conflict between her parents. “It was always shouting and hitting,” she recounts, describing years of her mother being subjected to her father’s aggressive behavior. “My father was always a nasty man.” Despite the difficult home life, she remembers her mother providing warmth and care. “We were lucky in that regard. We had a mother who did everything for us, who was always there, alongside that father.”
At the age of 13, Astrid intervened for the first time during a violent incident. When her father struck her sister in the head against a marble surface, she confronted him. “I asked, ‘Why are you doing that?’ That was the first time anyone had ever questioned him,” she recalls. This act of defiance had severe consequences. “He became furious and hit me and threw me out of the house. I wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I wasn’t allowed to come back.”
According to Astrid, the abuse within the family was consistently concealed, preventing anyone from holding her father accountable. She found an outlet for her emotions through basketball. “I could channel my aggression, anger, and rage there. I think if I hadn’t had that, I would have ended up very differently.”
The abuse continued at night, leaving Astrid feeling increasingly trapped. “Every night he would come to haunt me, wake me up, and constantly lecture me about how worthless I was, how bad a child I was, and that I was the biggest idiot on earth.”
Eventually, she felt she had no other option. “I was seriously planning to kill him, because I saw no way out. I slept with a large Tefal knife under my bed, because I thought: today or tomorrow I’ll just kill you,” she confessed.
Determined to not let the violence define her life, Astrid focused on her sport and education, taking control of her own future. “I thought: I’m not letting you ruin my future.” She now looks forward with renewed optimism. “Now I just need to work hard for another ten years and build something beautiful. I want to do that by telling my own story and then just grow old happily and healthily.”
Astrid previously appeared on De Kist, where she explained that she does not celebrate Christmas due to the death threats she receives. She shares more details in the video below.
A woman is recounting a harrowing experience of domestic abuse and the desperate measures she considered to escape a violent home life. Astrid, whose last name has not been released, details years of physical and emotional abuse inflicted by her father, beginning in her childhood.
The abuse, she says, was consistently hidden from the outside world, allowing it to continue unchecked. Astrid found solace and a constructive outlet for her anger in basketball, believing the sport prevented her from taking a darker path. However, the trauma persisted, extending into nightly verbal abuse and a growing sense of isolation.
The situation escalated to the point where Astrid began formulating plans to end her father’s life, even keeping a knife hidden under her bed. “I was seriously planning to kill him, because I saw no way out. I slept with a large Tefal knife under my bed, because I thought: today or tomorrow I’ll just kill you,” she stated.
Ultimately, Astrid chose a different path, focusing on her education and athletic pursuits to reclaim control of her future. “I thought: I’m not letting you ruin my future,” she explained. She now expresses a hopeful outlook, aiming to build a fulfilling life and share her story to inspire others.
Astrid also revealed she refrains from celebrating Christmas due to ongoing death threats, as discussed in a previous interview on De Kist. The details of those threats were not disclosed. This case underscores the lasting impact of domestic violence and the challenges faced by survivors, even years after the abuse has ended. The story highlights the importance of support systems and resources for individuals experiencing similar trauma.
