In the wake of shifting social norms and a pandemic-era reassessment of personal space, columnist Anna Björklund reflects on her long-held discomfort with unwanted physical touch. The piece, published today in Aftonbladet, explores the complexities of connection and offers a personal perspective on boundaries, politeness, and the surprising relief some found in reduced physical contact during recent years. Björklund also touches upon varying cultural expectations around physical greetings, from Swedish reticence to a nostalgic look at a Polish custom.
The social norms surrounding physical touch have been in flux in recent years, prompting reflection on personal boundaries and cultural expectations. For one columnist, the pandemic offered an unexpected reprieve from unwanted physical contact, sparking a broader consideration of the complexities of human connection.
The pandemic, surprisingly, was a relief. It removed the expectation of having to embrace everyone you met. At least, that’s how I felt.
I’ve never been comfortable hugging people I barely know, and frankly, I haven’t been particularly enthusiastic about hugging even acquaintances, aside from family. I completely understand children who recoil when aunts and uncles descend with unwanted, overly enthusiastic embraces.
I’m naturally reserved – perhaps “reserved” is a better word – but that doesn’t prevent me from professionally engaging with people in positions of power or everyday citizens, asking about their lives and perspectives. Stepping into unfamiliar situations is simply part of the job.
I don’t even mind kissing women on the cheek. In some ways, it feels more intrusive than a hug, and in others, it doesn’t. Regardless, consistency is rare, for anyone. Perhaps Ulf Kristersson is the only truly consistent person out there.
That was a joke, of course.
I’d gladly embrace the Polish tradition of men kissing women’s hands. It’s an elegant gesture. And I have reason to believe women would appreciate it. When I first met General Jaruzelski – the last communist dictator of Poland, born into an aristocratic family west of Białystok – he elaborately kissed my female interpreter’s hand. She was a staunch anti-communist. It was amusing to see her delight.
The only people I know who kiss women’s hands in Sweden are Jan Guillou and Staffan Heimerson. I’m not sure what to make of that.
The constant need to embrace one another is likely a compensation for something, though what that is isn’t clear. It’s not just a Swedish phenomenon. In Denmark, the psychology firm Encounter has instructed its employees to hug each other once in the morning and once in the afternoon.
That’s the kind of politically correct absurdity they’re indulging in over in Denmark!
